Why is it that nearly every continuation of a game or series in response to it being popular is almost always shitty?  Is this some unwritten rule somewhere?  The truth of this hits me hard — is it maybe just human nature to expect a sequel to be as good, if not better than the original, giving it unfair judgment?  …Nah, they’re just shitty.

This isn’t just limited to games; it’s applied with movies and books too.  In fact, it’s even WORSE with some movies, primarily when they’re based off of something else — Dune, Doom, Mortal Kombat… they were all complete ass.  I have to commend 1984 for almost capturing the actual theme of the book, a feat which is seemingly beyond the ability of pretty much every director.  But that’s just relatively speaking; it’s like saying this piece of shit smells better than these other pieces of shit. I can’t continue talking about this subject because it gives me a brain hemorrhage, and I’ve covered some of my angst about movies already in a previous article.  Yeah, covered it up with the dried up vomit of a wildebeest.


Looking at something much more recent and appropriate to this subject, Left 4 Dead 2 has got to be one of the most laughable additions to the greed and general retardation of game producers.  Sure, it’ll probably not be a shitty sequel, but it’s clearly being milked for all its worth, especially considering that the first game wasn’t even completed.  However, I’m taken aback because this is a game by Valve, one of the only companies (if not THE only company) that feels like it has staff who play games and actually don’t suck at them.  Why would they do this?  Are they insane?  Did Dick Cheney possess their producers and turn them into complete assholes?  I tried to figure this conundrum in comic form:


I’m not going to write an exhaustive list of all the shitty sequels there have been over the years, but here’s just a few:

Everything after Quake III (arguably Quake III was partially ass too): ASS.
Everything after Carmageddon I: ASS.
Everything after Heroes of Might and Magic III: ASS.
Everything after Mortal Kombat III: ASS.
Every last *Quest game from Sierra before they died: ASS.
Half of the Need for Speed sequels: ASS.
Star Control III: ASS.
Dune 2000: ASS.

Blizzard seem to be the only guys who get it right.  I don’t know how though, because they appear to have the same shitty qualities that most of the industry possesses — money first, creativity/gameplay second.  Maybe Chris Metzen is actually Jesus.


Cynicism rearing its ugly yet intricate head, I wager that the reason most sequels are shitty is because the companies know that people will buy a sequel if it’s based off a good game.  This way, they’ll have ensured sales because they take advantage of the fact that consumers are mostly idiots, while limiting the budget — hence, making a shitty game that will sell anyway due to reputation.  In fact, most of the early 90s console games seemed to thrive off of this fact.  Either gamers were even stupider back then, or they were far more desperate.  The general mentality would go something like this: “Oh, look!  A game based of something that was popular!  I’m going to buy it, even though it has the playability of a leper strapped into an iron maiden while trying to imitate Beethoven with a pair of chopsticks.”

This is a testament to the cowardice of game producers.  Money kills originality.


There’s a reason a lot of retro games are still popular, and it’s not just because of nostalgia. It’s because they didn’t have asshole producers trying to make a quick buck, riding on the coattails of a game or label’s reputation and cutting corners in the gameplay and originality departments.  Admittedly, using recycled ideas is fine most of the time — as long as you’re not a prick about it.  How do these people sleep at night, knowing that the majority of their consumers were people too dumb to handle their own money?

One Response to “Attention Game Producers: You’re Stupid and Gamers Hate You”
  1. Pembroke Pines Dentist says:

    What is going on in here? Where all this post comes from?

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